July 5, 2026 — Olya, you left for America, didn’t you?!

I dreamed this in 2024, when I came back from America. I don’t know if this is a trauma-associated dream, a flashback, or reality. I perceived it as a heavy dream, but now I consider it necessary to describe it. Everything initially in Russian.

Two men are leading me. They stand me by a door in a stairwell. They say, “He raped you.”

Then, a gap. Was I pushed in, or did I walk in?

I am in some apartment. Some man addresses me by my name, but I don’t know him.

• Olya! You left for America, didn’t you?!
• They said that you raped me.
• No, no! I only wanted to help!
• Did you rape me?!
• No!.. You were right!
• What are you talking about? I don’t know you, I’m seeing you for the very first time!

There is no fear on his face, only an understanding and acceptance of the situation.

For me, it was as if my capacity for perception, compassion, empathy, and critical thinking had been completely shut off. I didn’t know him, I didn’t know the people who were leading me, but I was certain that he had harmed me. Like some program was working in my head. His words meant nothing for me.

The ones who were leading me came in later (did they have a key?). Then they seemed to be looking for a will, but didn’t find it. Did they abduct his wife?

At some point, this man had a heart attack. Overall, the visual sequence is jumbled and fragmented.

Last night I dreamed that someone was showing me a video recording in which one woman is lying in bed (sleeping?), a second woman is doing something near her head, and a man is performing sexual acts on the sleeping woman.

• (F) Don’t say who you are, what your name is! Don’t drink or eat anything!

Beach?

• (M) The grapes are ripe in Monaco.
• (Me) I want to go to Monaco.

I have never been to Monaco.

I am Olha Stefanishyna, originally from Sevastopol, Crimea.

This is a first-person testimony, based on dissociative flashbacks. I am recording them and analyze them. I do it because I have amnesia and didn’t know I am injured and traumatized till I started to work through it. No one worked with me on it so I am looking for witnesses and support on my own. Open letter.

Incidents from my direct memory and my commentary are marked in bold.

The time for these are unknown. Location is unknown.